Let’s talk about getting other people to open up and share information—the kind of conversations that feel natural, don’t trigger defenses, and actually lead to real insights.
One of the most powerful communication techniques I’ve used as a trial lawyer is elicitation. It’s a game-changer, especially in high-stakes situations like jury selection or negotiating multi-million dollar deals for my clients. And here’s the best part: you don’t need a law degree to use it.
The Problem with Questions
Most people don’t realize this, but asking direct questions often puts people on high alert. The moment you ask someone, “Do you like being here?” or “Does the jury system work in America?”—their guard goes up. They’re suddenly filtering their words, calculating the “right” response. That’s human nature.
But what if you could bypass that mental firewall? What if you could get someone to open up naturally—without even realizing it? That’s where elicitation comes in.
Statement + Disbelief = A Conversation That Flows
Instead of asking, you state. And instead of assuming, you express disbelief. Here’s how it works in real time.
Be honest in your words and feelings, but frame your statements in a way that aligns with your goals and circumstances.
For example, imagine I’m selecting a jury. I want to know who actually wants to be there and who doesn’t. During the process a lawyer might ask:
“Who here doesn’t want to be on this jury?”
But me? I’d go a different route.
I’d say: “You know, it’s my understanding that most Americans really look forward to serving on a jury.”
Now watch what happens.
A juror might respond: “Where did you hear that?”
Boom—conversation started.
As I walk over closer to this juror I might reply: “Just something a judge mentioned to a jury panel in my last trial.”
And then they lean in: “Well, not me. I don’t like being away from my family and work. I don’t even get paid while I’m here.”
That’s my opening. I follow with disbelief:
“No way. Your work doesn’t pay for your time on jury duty? There’s no way that’s true.”
And now? They’re engaged. They want to explain. They’re in full conversation mode, without ever feeling interrogated.
Why This Works Everywhere
This isn’t just for courtrooms. It’s for business negotiations, networking, even day-to-day conversations. The moment you replace questions with statements inviting responses, people stop feeling like they’re being cross-examined and start talking like they would with a friend.
Want to connect better? Try it. Next time you want insight from someone, don’t ask. State. And when they answer, don’t just listen—push back just enough with curiosity.
You’ll be amazed at what people reveal when they don’t feel like they’re being questioned.
Mitch Jackson, Esq. | On Bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/mitch.social