day 1666 and the russian circus is still in town, except now the clowns are getting shot by their own side. madjar, the ukrainian commander who gives russian telegram night terrors, just bagged another general. not the one vatnik rumor mill was crying about yesterday, but close enough for the kremlin to whip up another “he slipped in the shower” press release. this time its alexander grunets, the guy who ran the 4th motor rifle brigade straight into the meat grinder at bakhmut and liman. being promoted to general in the russian army is basically a red shirt on star trek, congrats, your next gig is front row seats to himars fireworks.
russian lines: wet cardboard edition
meanwhile, afu is pushing near liman and the russian lines are doing their best impression of wet cardboard in a rainstorm. remember when the kremlin promised to take kyiv in three days? now theyre spending a year and a few thousand bodies just to hold a trench near dobropillia, and its still leaking russians like a lada leaks oil. the “second army of the world” cant even keep their own guys from running for the nearest tree line, let alone hold territory.
every z blogger is out here screaming about “stabilization” while posting shaky drone footage of their own positions getting smoked. the only thing getting stabilized is the number of russian casualties, which just keeps going up. at this point, the only thing more consistent than russian generals dying in ukraine is the regime pretending its all going to plan.
kremlin distractions: assassination plot of the week
dont worry though, russian state tv has a new distraction every week. this time its “assassination attempts on zelensky.” apparently, every time putin gets the night sweats, the fsb invents another plot to kill the ukrainian president. the stories get more cartoonish every time, next up is probably ninja dolphins with poison-tipped umbrellas.
the real joke is zelenskys biggest threat isnt russian hit squads, its running out of time to film another “im still here” selfie before the next air raid. the kremlins obsession with these plots is pure projection. putins got more security than a swiss bank and still looks like hes waiting for the floor to open up under him every time he sits down.
the only thing the “special operation” has denazified is the russian officer corps.
paranoia and bunker upgrades
lets talk about those fears for a second. putins paranoia is the only thing in russia growing faster than the price of eggs. hes surrounded by yes-men, terrified of his own generals, and every time a drone hits an oil refinery in krasnodar or a warehouse in yekaterinburg, he adds another layer of bulletproof glass to his bunker.
the duma is out here talking about fighting until 2030, like anyone in russia wants to be eating turnips and watching drone strikes for another four years. the regimes answer to every problem is more mobilization, more repression, more “patriotic education” in schools. meanwhile, the only thing kids are learning is how to duck when the air raid siren goes off.
economy: made in russia, run for the border
the russian economy? yeah, about that. import substitution is a meme, “made in russia” is a threat, and the only thing getting exported is people with enough brains to buy a one-way ticket to anywhere else. sanctions didnt collapse the place overnight, but they turned every trip to the store into a scavenger hunt.
- wildberries warehouses getting hit by drones
- gas shortages in yekaterinburg
- shelves stocked with nothing but propaganda
the regime keeps promising victory parades, but all they deliver is funerals and excuses. every general killed is “alive and well,” every lost town is “strategic redeployment,” every ukrainian drone strike is “minor damage.” but the receipts keep piling up. satellite photos, intercepted calls, z bloggers accidentally live-streaming their own panic. the gap between the tv and reality is now a canyon, and even the most loyal vatniks are starting to notice the smell.
haunted house regime
so here we are, day 1666. another dead general, another failed offensive, another round of kremlin cope. the only thing russias winning is the race to see how fast they can run out of cannon fodder and working washing machines. ukraines still standing, still fighting, and the kremlin is stuck in a haunted house, all noise and shadows, foundation rotting, ghosts getting restless. the only thing scarier than the kremlins threats is how desperate they sound when they make them.
russian victory parade this year is just a guy with a shovel and a list of excuses.