the kremlin circus is back with new acts: moscow protests, the drapatyy plan, xi playing hard to get, shiryayev’s bedtime stories, and the russian air force’s latest speedrun to the afterlife. if you thought last week’s episode was wild, wait till you see how many generals can fit in a clown car before the ruble explodes.
moscow protests: riot cops, vpn dreams, and the eternal squat
moscow had protests again, which is about as surprising as finding out your favorite oligarch has a backup villa in nice. the regime rolled out the riot cops, flexed a bit, then pretended nothing happened. except this time, the post-crackdown chatter was different. folks are openly talking about skipping town or, for the real spicy ones, mutiny. spoiler: most will settle for a vpn and a new telegram channel, but the fear is real and the regime can smell it.
even the ones swearing they’ll vote communist (because nothing says “fresh start” like the party that’s been around since lenin was a tiktok thirst trap) admit the system’s rigged and putin’s just squatting on the throne. meanwhile, ukraine’s been protesting for 26 days straight and the cops there are too busy to even show up. imagine protesting and not getting your skull cracked. must be nice. in russia, honesty about why you’re protesting is more dangerous than the protest itself. the regime’s allergic to accountability, and the only thing they arrest faster than dissent is the ruble’s value.
the drapatyy plan: ai drones, airport panic, and operation gtfo
let’s talk about the “drapatyy plan,” which is vatnik for “operation gtfo.” the atlantic dropped a piece about ex-defense minister fedorov’s plan to paralyze moscow’s airports with swarms of ai drones. code name: mmdm. sounds like a bad marvel villain, but the idea is simple: launch a thousand drones in one night and watch moscow’s air traffic control shit itself.
this isn’t just a fever dream. russia had to close 13 airports in the rostov zone, including astrakhan, volgograd, vladikavkaz, sochi, and more. not because of nato, not “terrorists,” just the regime’s own paranoia and incompetence. the only thing flying over russia these days is the collective hope of the middle class, and that’s headed west.
the regime’s response? not “let’s fix this,” just “let’s lie about it and hope nobody notices.” they’re so busy drawing new “red lines” that they forgot the only thing red about russia right now is the budget deficit and the faces of the generals when another drone slips through.
xi’s riddle: daddy with the wallet leaves you on read
now for russia’s bestie, xi jinping. the regime keeps hyping up the “no limits partnership,” but every time putin calls, xi’s suddenly busy, probably washing his hair or counting his gdp. china’s watching russia’s war like it’s a bad reality show. they’ll buy the cheap oil, but when it comes to real support? crickets. no weapons, no game-changing tech, just a polite nod and a reminder that beijing doesn’t bet on losers.
the kremlin keeps pretending they’re equals, but xi’s treating putin like a side character in his own belt and road drama. the only thing more humiliating than begging for drones is getting ghosted by the guy you called your “strategic partner.”
the only thing more humiliating than begging for drones is getting ghosted by the guy you called your “strategic partner.”
shiryayev’s bedtime stories: kotyol cosplay and map fanfic
shiryayev, the z-blogger who lies so much even russian state tv is like, “bro, chill,” is back with another bedtime story. his latest hit? claiming there’s a “kotyol” (cauldron) around ukrainian forces near kupyansk. according to him, the russian army is about to pull off a masterstroke and encircle everyone. reality check: the only thing getting encircled is his credibility.
his maps look like they were drawn by a toddler with a red crayon and a head injury. every time the 20th army screws up, he blames “nato mercenaries” or “ukrainian nazis,” never the fact that half the russian command is busy looting washing machines instead of planning offensives.
when things go sideways, nobody gets punished. the 20th army’s command screws up at lyman, and the only thing that changes is the number of excuses. but even the z crowd is starting to notice the pattern. some are even demanding the truth, which in russia is about as safe as juggling chainsaws in a gas leak.
russian air force: eight dead pilots and a flying retirement home
feel-good story of the week: eight russian pilots checked out permanently. not because of “technical malfunctions” or “bad weather.” ukrainian strikes on russian airfields are racking up more kills than half the russian air force managed in syria.
the russian air force is basically a flying retirement home at this point. every time ukraine hits an airfield, the regime claims it’s “minor damage,” but somehow there’s always a new batch of funerals and a fresh round of “hero of russia” medals handed out posthumously. the only thing more dangerous than flying a russian jet is being anywhere near one when the maintenance budget’s been looted for someone’s dacha.
it’s not just pilots. three planes and a helicopter got torched in one night. the regime blames “saboteurs,” “nato,” or “cosmic rays,” but never the fact that ukrainian fpv drones are now basically amazon prime for explosives. the z crowd is starting to ask why the “second army of the world” can’t keep its own airfields safe. the answer’s simple: you can’t run a modern air force on lies, vodka, and spare parts from aliexpress.
the russian dream: lada that starts, neighbor poorer than you
zooming out, the regime’s whole shtick is pretending everything’s under control while the country falls apart at the seams. gas prices are through the roof, the banking sector’s in crisis, and the only thing more common than a mobilization notice is a new round of sanctions. oligarchs are bailing, the military’s recruiting women from prisons to drag wounded conscripts off the battlefield, and the only thing the regime exports reliably is excuses.
every time there’s a setback, the propaganda machine goes into overdrive:
- deny
- deflect
- distract
- declare victory
- repeat
it’s like watching a sitcom where the punchline is always “it’s the west’s fault.” but the audience is getting bored. even the hardcore z crowd is starting to realize “import substitution” means “hope you like cabbage and chinese knockoffs.”
meanwhile, ukraine’s not just holding out, they’re hitting back. drone strikes, sabotage, and a military that actually learns from its mistakes. in russia, protesting gets you a nightstick to the face. in ukraine, it gets you a news crew and maybe some actual change.
regime’s greatest hits: nuclear blackmail, poverty, and musical chairs
the classics never die. nuclear blackmail? still on repeat. every time the front line moves the wrong way, the kremlin starts waving the nuclear stick like a drunk uncle at a barbecue. nobody’s buying it anymore, but it’s all they’ve got left.
disinformation 2.0 is here: more bots, more fake “experts,” more desperate attempts to convince russians that everything’s fine. meanwhile, the real economy’s tanking, poverty’s rising, and the only thing growing is the list of banned words on vkontakte.
kremlin infighting is peaking. oligarchs are running for the exits, generals are blaming each other, and putin’s inner circle is starting to look like a game of musical chairs where the music’s about to stop and the only seat left is in the hague.
the circus never ends, but the clowns are sweating
the regime’s running out of tricks. moscow protests are a symptom, not the disease. the drapatyy plan is just the latest desperate move. xi’s not coming to save them, shiryayev’s lies are wearing thin, and the russian air force is losing pilots faster than it can print medals.
the propaganda machine is still spinning, but the gears are grinding. people aren’t buying it like they used to. the only thing the regime can promise is more of the same: more lies, more poverty, more funerals, and maybe, if you’re lucky, a lada that starts in the morning.
but hey, at least they’ve still got the washing machines. for now.
russian propaganda: we control the narrative. russian reality: the only thing you control is the queue for the border.